Since I have arrived in Va the thing that has been running through my mind the most [besides men of course] is coming out to my father. This has been on my mind hard lately and i just cant seem to decide if i still want to do it. I think its because the outcome could be a number of things and iI dont think he will be happy about it at all. Not at all. I was so sure i was going to do it but didnt know when..... Now im not sure if i ever want to do it. Me and father dont have the best relationship and im trying to build a better one with him now, but im wondering will me telling him this set us back at square one. I dont want that. Sometimes I feel as if im acting like the rest of america and just making a overdramatic big deal about something I shouldnt worry about. As long as I love who I am it shouldnt matter..... right? But at the end of the day I feel as if I need his acceptance. I really Do. I feel like I wont be complete without it. But really thats all I want is his Acceptance [I have my moms] The rest of the world can go to hell for all I care. I really just dont know. The one thing im sure of is I should wait until i move out to do it. Lol. That I think would be th smartest move unless by some chance im forced to confront the issue sooner......... I Dunno. Im Utterly Confused.
I really dont know what to do.......
[Any Advice on this issue is greatly appreciated......]
5 Thoughts:
i told my dad i used to get down and he was more accepting than i thought. now i thinking about telling him i still do... i really dont care but at least now i can stop hiding behind some opaque door. its different with me, i could give to left feet whether he cared or not, i care if he tells my brother who is still my closest family member. he's closeminded and i know what the outcome will be... its not a good one!
Lol forgot to give my advice... I say go for it. As long as you don't have anything to lose! Why not? Do move out tho... don't wanna hear you're blogging from a shelter!
do whats right for you. If you really want to tell him then do so ... if you want to wait then wait.
I loved this post - you captured the difficulty that is coming out really well. I still haven't come out to my parents ... but I know they both know. Parents just KNOW. As I was much more convinced of it when I had my own kids ... I know them little rugrats better than they know themselves. The question here is: Which is greater, your desire to be transparent or your fear that things will change?
@ FUZZY: I feel you most definitely and yeah moving out first I think may be a neccessity.
@ MEMPHIZ: Thanks I Will
@ JACK: Thanks for dropping by, and Im not sure if he knows or not be he talks as if he has no clue[kinda like my mom was]..... I fear that things will change but it will definitely come out one day I just dont know when.....
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