Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Self | Improvement

I believe its time for me to start making the necessary changes that I have been thinking about for the last month. I have been in such a Positive state of mind the past couple weeks. I have been thinking Positive and dwelling on positive things. I have been feeling Wonderful. So today I think is going to mark the start of me continuing this Positive state of mind. I'm mentally almost there now I want to be physically there. I want to improve in all areas of my life. Its time I start Believing and doing what I know I Am Capable of. Its time to take advantage of the things I have and get out there and Make It. Not for anyone else but myself. Its Time For Me To Make my own way. Its time for me to become the Go Getter I used to be. Its Time for me to Make It with no excuses. Its Time To Take Charge. I know there will be hurdles ill have to Jump and walls I have to Climb but I feel as if I'm ready to do it. Its Just Time.... I Feel It.

ITS TIME!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Another addition

So...... Now theirs 7 people in this household since my brother[stepbro] came down to live...... He's 19 and a bunch of trouble from what I've heard. I hear he has anger issues and is hardheaded. He has 2 kids no job and no diploma, ran up his gramas cable bill to 600 dollars ordering porn, steals, and has been locked up on more than 1 occasion. His first day here he tells me the real reason why he came here and why he didn't tell anyone else. He has a unpaid fine in ohio and now he has a warrant out. He says he's only down here for a year because he can't stay away from his kids for too long.[I ask my dad about his kids and he says he wasn't doing nothing for them anyway]. I haven't seen him since we were 11 and he was 9 when I came to VA the 1st time for the summer. He was part of the reason I didn't stay to live because he was a fucking annoying ass bug a boo. I had already whooped dat ass twice that summer and I couldn't fathom living with him everyday. Now he's here and on catching up with him he tells me how he's down here to change but then in the same breath tells me how he can't wait to find some bitches[cuz he loves to do them dirty, he claims]. After an hour of arriving he's already talking about smoking weed and starts to search the house for something to roll up in. he ends up taking some of the paper out of my shoe box u know that greyish kind they stuff in sneakers when their brand new. According to him this is what they do in jail, mind u it was his 2nd choice he first looked for his mama tampons..... He rolls up and goes into the backyard. Already disrespecting the house. I know what I came down here to do and nothing is sidetracking me. He reminds me of the typical lorain/elyria ohio black male. Its sad. he swears he's" a rapper, he pulls mad bitches, and a dancer[the boy started crumping and pop locking last night in the living room floor yall....what?????]. This boy gtta get it together today he tells me he had stabbed some boy when he was down here that's why they shipped him back to ohio the first time when he was 13. He brags proudly about this fact. All he could talk about today was finding his old friends numbers so he can hang cuz "he can't wait to get to the mall to game bitches". Complete mess.......[BLACKERD!]

On notice that he was coming to live I text my cousin and she says, "the only reason he coming down there is because he prolly heard you were going down there to live." I told her I don't know but I'm focused on me, I know what I came to do and I'm gonna do it I can't worry about nobody else. My dad was fighting with himself because he said he aint know if he wanted the headache and that he tired of the boy dissapointing his mom and seeing her hurt. I dunno yall but I can already see the tension. I don't know how this will unfold but ill definitely keep you tuned in....

[Lord knows I won't do another post from my blackberry]

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

First 48 Hrs

I'm finally here in VA and things are relaxing. I had a breakdown the night before i was to leave because it hit me so hard that I was actually leaving the only place I knew and all the people I loved. I cried like a baby as Ii told everyone goodbye but I knew there was no turning back and I knew I was doing the right thing for myself.



What shouldve been a 7 hr drive took 11 hours due to holiday traffic. I didnt mind tho I slept a majority of it and it wasnt bad at all I needed the sleep.



I went to Crystal City and ate chipotle for the 1st time [after hearing so many people rant and rave abot their food] why my dad finished his job. (Chipotle is the bomb). My school played me. I get all the way down here to finish up the paperwork and get my classes together and they tell me they dont offer my major. I have to switch back to CNS because none of them offer it down here. PISSED!!!!!!! I SAW RED!!!! Why after calling here on a weekly basis for 3 months and telling you this was the major i was into no one saud oh yeah btw we offer your major but we dont teach it because theres no demand for it here and we have trouble placing students in tha field. AGAIN I SAW RED!!!!!!!! But in the end I did what I had to do and switched back. I Am so pissed about losing 3 credits and now my graduation has been pushed back to a year instead of 9 months. My dad tells me to stay positive and look at it as a blessing. Thats what im trying to do.



But so far that has been my first day and a half of my new begining.