Showing posts with label Closure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Closure. Show all posts

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Closure | 1 Year

@ the end of this month, I will have been single for a whole year. A Whole Year. I bring it up because I was just thinking yesterday about how far i've come, how strong I have become, How much I have matured, and how my outlook on relationships and what I want and look for in a guy have changed. Yesterday though, my Ex text me asking me about my myspace status. We then somehow got into a conversation about if either of us thought their could ever be an "Us" again. I already knew that answer on my end and I knew his also seeing as how he's in a relationship. We both mutually agreed No. Him because he's really enjoying his 16yr old Soul mate, and he's in love. I'm honestly happy for him. To Each His own. Me because I'm don't see any reason in going backwards in something that I don't feel will work beyond a friendship. We are way better friends than we were lovers, In my opinion. So it was cool to me that we both mutually agreed on it and there was no hard feelings on either end. Well not on my end anyway. I felt, even though we both had moved on ages ago, it gave us some type of closure in something that was still kind of an acute loose end.

Its been a year for me, and I'm honestly ready to date. I Say date because I dunno how I feel about a serious relationship right now. I'm honestly content being Single. Working on myself. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy the company, and conversation of a Sexy man, but I don't feel like being in a relationship.... Maybe a couple months down the road but right now... I'm Cool On It! And honestly before I can be in a relationship I need to tackle one last "Hurdle". That "Hurdle" being coming out to my father. That main point of my visit home was to talk to my mom about it. But if push comes to shove I know I have somewhere to go back to, even if Ohio isn't where I want to be. But, Once that is accomplished then and only then can I feel I can commit myself to someone worthy of my Time/Love/Heart openly and honestly. This last year has really been a eye opening one for me. I made a lot of mistakes, that I have learned from. But most importantly i learned a lot about myself. I was able to overcome and triumph over a lot, and that I am grateful for.

Now it just seems I have to climb over this wall and meet the person on the other side. Me. Waiting to greet, comfort, and pat myself on the back, breathing with relief.