Fuck You / Bitch I'm Actin' Brand New!

It's All About Me These Days.

And like the title says Fuck you if you don't like it. Anyone whose remotely close to me knows that I'm a very outspoken person. I tell you exactly what I think and if you don't like it. I really don't care. But I'm gonna say it. I sugar coat NOTHING! And If you don't like it........well you know where to go. But right now It's all about my happiness at this point. I realize after putting so much of myself out there for one person and it all meaning nothing to them and all of it crashing back down on me, I'm so over it at this point. I will never sacrifice my feelings or lay them out there for another human being to toy with & stomp all over. My attitude has definitely changed in just these past couple days. I feel like now if it doesn't benefit me to hell with it. If your blocking my happiness you have to be expunged. If your stopping my progress I'll Step on you with my new pair of Dunks. @ this point if you ain't talking bout progress why we speaking? I cant worry about others peoples feelings I'm on my way to the top and if you ain't on rising to the top with me ill leave you at the bottom with the rest of them fools. If anything you can call me the puppeteer cause I'm gonna be pulling the strings from now on. I Just feel like its time to get a grip on things and start controlling the outcome. As My girl Mary J. said, "No More Drama" and I definitely feel if I want to be happy and your in the way well you can either walk along side me or fall back. It's Time for me to have my front as well as my back. And any stragglers that get in the way can eat dirt as it kicks up from behind me. Hate Ir Or Love It Either Way It's The Way It is.

Again,

Fuck You / Bitch I'm Actin' Brand New! - Lil Wayne

Exhausted

Tomorrow could be life changing for me. Depending on if I get this job life could become so much easier for me. I would be able to afford all the necessities I need and it would get my foot in the door on getting out on my own. If I get hired at this JOB I could finally purchase a car, an apartment, and start focusing on Me, Myself, and I. Everything would start to fall into place. There would be so much I wouldn't have to worry about. Everything would come together.

These last couple weeks have been draining my energy. Between work and finals everything is taking a toll on my state of mind. I'm so mentally & physically drained. I'm always tired and I can never have a decent nights sleep. All the beautiful weight I had gained is gone, and now I weigh less than what I did before. My body is drained. I feel like all my Energy is being sucked away from me by some unknown source. And I hate not being well rested and having Energy. I just feel depleted. Thank God that after tomorrow ill have a 2 week and I repeat 2 week break from school finals will be over. Hopefully ill have a new job after tomorrow also. I'm Praying.

HIATUS

I have decided to take a short hiatus from blogging. I am going to take a week or 2 break from this thing[I'm Just a little bored i guess]. I'm just going to time to refocus on school, purchasing a car, My Art, Trying to get an apartment, and other important things that I need to take complete and utter focus on at the moment. I'm 21 and time is doing nothing but passing me by. Its time to get myself in the game and get the things I want before this summer is over. And Before my deadline of 23. Lol. I'll continue to write comments and read others blog but for myself I wont be posting for a while.

[I Need A Nap!]


*PRIMO

Time To Move On.....

Lately things have been horrible for me. Lets just say I have been getting the short end of the stick for a while now from my boyfriend. It took me forever but I prayed on it and I asked god to send me a sign and I felt like he did in more than one form. And then I began to think about all the conversations I had with my boyfriend and then it clicked..... He obviously didn't need to be my boyfriend anymore. So like my girl Keyshia Cole I let that nigga go. And honestly after I did I felt like something had been lifted and lately I have been feeling so good lately. Honestly, Damn Good!

After I did it, I honestly wondered why I hadn't done it earlier. All the signs were there and I put my feelings to the side ignoring them for a love that was fading [On his end] and a relationship that I seemed to be in alone. I didn't want to do it over the phone but like i said he didn't want to take the 5 minutes it takes to drive over my house so I did it over the phone. Oh Damn Well! After the 2nd day I had to to what i had to do. Shit I got tired of being in a long distance relationship with someone who lives 5 minutes away. I guess this all goes back to my saying that I shouldn't date Younger than me because for the 2nd time, it didn't work.

But now I feel honestly refreshed and ready to do me. I feel like the negative element is behind me and I have nothing but positive things to look forward too. And the process of building structure begins.......


[Yo, Pray For Me .]


:)

So Sad & Lonely.....

This is exactly how i have been feeling lately. Mostly because since about Easter I have been doing nothing but staying in the house, going to school, and work. I have no life and I hate it. Right now I'm listening to Ms. Cole on my new Zune[she always feels where I'm coming from.] I'm so tired of this same routine and I am becoming more and more bored with my everyday life, Or lack thereof. I feel sad because I am unhappy with my everyday life. Unhappy with work, school. And right now that seems to be all my life consists of is work and school. Pretty sad right. When your life consists of 2 things you cant stand I find it pretty sad on my part. I feel at this point I need to find new hobbies. Lately I just haven't found any inspiration in drawing lately. Nothing in my life is inspiring, nothing in my life feels alive......Nothing in my life brings me any energy.

I am Lonely because My boyfriend barely, rarely, never, doesn't have time for me. Its frustrating.

I have been feeling so alone lately. So So So Alone...........