Me emotions have been a wreck lately..... 1 minute im up the other minute im down again. One Minute im as high as the sky itself the other minute im 50 below sea level. Its crazy for me right now. It seems as if I just cant find common ground within myself on what why and how I feel a certain way on a day to day basis. On top of my emotional drama and feeling oh so lost I have Tons Of Makeup Work All Due THIS WEEK! Some of which I should be doing right NOW!!!
Procrastination Is being such a friend to me but right after this post im right in the books.
Then On top of all the other ruckus. I finally feel as if im completely over my Ex. I mean finally. After seeing a picture of him and his current boo on myspace together. I felt nothing as the words "They look cute together" slipped from my lips. And it wasnt a lie they do look cute together, and it bothered me not One bit as I told him later on. I also told him "he looks really happy and I'm happy for him and I hope it works". He said "Looks Can Be Deceiving" Im Like "Yeah well you guys look really happy." I think me saying that let him know that things between us are definitely on a strict friend level. Something I already knew that but Iwasnt sure about him. He didnt sound too happy but I mean were still friends and I definitely want him to find someone he can be happy with. So it definitely wasnt a big deal to me. I think seeing that picture was definitely a test, a test I believe I passed with flying colors. And it just reassured myself what im Focused on these days, and where my heart is. :) I Dont even have to say It. Because I Know It.
Upon the release of that old flame, the guy [ Well Call him T ]I was talking to about maybe a month ago Has Reaapeared. After what he claims his "money being funny" and his phone being turned off for almost a month it seems and someone quitting their job someone beat my phone in monday night trying to give me their new number. I'm not attached to him at all for starters so it wasnt a big deal when he called. I was more wondering why when I get rid of one another tries to creep in??? I'm honestly perfectly content with being single. And for some reason I think this guy seems to be all about Sex. I'm definitely not tryna pursue something with him because for starters hes like 2.5 states away and I dont do long distance relationships. [I need you near Pa. You cant embrace me from miles away Im sorry.] At this stage im definitely just feeling him out and seeing what his intentions are. He's sexually attractive but im not laying down with just anyone. I know how to get a Niggas Dick hard and its nothing to me to do it on the phone or in the same room, But that dont mean im gonna let you Poke at me.... Nah not at all. I know for sure he definitely wants to hook up when I visit OH but like I said he needs to be felt out....
I Could use a good Dickem Down Session Tho.......
I Decided to join the church sunday....... I feeling so lost in life lately I definitely need HIM right now. I need some spiritual growth. Nothing else can guide me to where I need to go.
