C R U S H [2]

Ok Back To The Sexy....

Well anyways a couple days later, last week to be exact, I was walking in. it had to be about 9 last sunday cause I was doing a overnight at work and we were closing. well anyways I was walking up to the guest service desk to talk to my friend J who works up their. And lo and behold Here Comes [hold on I haven't give him a name.... Ill call Him "Fresh". His name is actually very similar to mine in the fact that it rhymes with mine, his just has a C at the beginning.] So lo and behold comes Fresh looking well Fresh! lol. So him and J converse and he calls J @ bitch and such and walks away. So I use this as my opportunity to find some info out about him. J tells me he's New, His age, and what his name is. And that "Fresh" is a all around cool as hell dude. Im like OK as I watch him walk away. So I go to get some food/drinks since I was going to be their overnight from 9pm-6:30am, and on the way back to the front end I see "Fresh" and he's like what up, I say what up back and he's like I haven't seen you here.... you been here all night? Im like Nah Im just coming in. Im doing a overnight... He's like damn what time yall get off I'm like 6:30am he's like damn I couldn't do it I like my sleep. Im like "yeah me too but I get the rest of this week off till sat after I do the 2nd overnight tomorrow". He's like "oh thats cool. " then we exchange names and he's like he has some work to finish cause we close in 5 minutes, so hell see me around... Im like Cool its on! :D Already Anticipating the chance to hold a longer conversation with him the next time I see him.

Well I Got My Chance!

One day last week I came in and looking at the where they had me sectioned to work @ I noticed that he was put there too. I Was like oh wow. So I clocked in with a smile lol. but anyways when he came in we talked like the whole time. Thats when I noticed how nice and straight his teeth were [I think its very attractive]. He's half German, Half black. He's a army brat and was born in Germany and lived there for 14 yrs. He's lived all over the US and I think he even said he lived in Canada for a while. He's 20 but very mature. Very calm and real chill. Also kinda flirty in a way. And very damn funny. We was seriously Lunchin' on the clock. Probably the most fun I had at work since I left all my real good work buddies in OH. He's A lot more mature than younger guys I've known in the past tho, because he seems to have alot of focus on where he wants to go in the future. Then the surprising thing was that he lives in my neighborhood.... well a different section. All the little housing developments have names like little villages. but all in all he's like 3 minutes away. When he found that out he was like "oh thats cool." In my head: Im like you have no Idea. He is so damn sexy! He's so my type. The whole time i was talking to him the freakiest thoughts were visualizing in my head. I could see myself having some fun with him. Im like it would be great to end this like 6.5 month drought lmao! But all in all I think he's Straight, simply because he talked heavily about females. And each and every time we had eye contact he always pulled away a second before it got too long. That night when it was time to clock out & go home I wanted to ask him did he need a ride home but for some reason I couldn't find him cause our supervisor kept separating us[ cant stand his Big Lazy Slow Ass.] Oh well But, its So Good to have something Gorgeous to look @ while Im @ work. I haven't had a Crush on anyone in so long it doesn't even feel right. lol. I feel like why? but Im also like :D Its only Healthy, Right?.... I think I'm going to slide him my number, btw

I say its like that age old question: How many Licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop...... Ya just never know dammit! So I figure why not try!

The Good thing is I get to work with "Fresh" today.....

I Just Hope I Don't Overheat :D

C R U S H

[Your Probably Saying What??? No Music?]

So....

I Am So Crushing On one of my Co-Workers. He's new and He Is one of the Ca-Uuuuutest Things I Have Ever Seen. Especially For where I work where the Lack of Eye Candy is Ridiculous. I mean besides the new guy there is only one other fine guy there. The rest are..... 

Anyways Back to The Sexy, we will begin from where i first laid eyes upon him. I was walking in to work one day about last week, and I saw him from a distance heading towards where we go to clock in and out. Well i was going to clock in so I had no choice but to follow him. Now at this point all I have seen of him was from the side from a distance and the back of him about 10-15 steps ahead of me and I had already concluded that he was cute. I knew from his walk and clothes [Nice Polo, Khakis, Red/Black Jordan's] that he definitely [and I think this word is so overused these days, but] Has Swagg. <[ UGH! DID I JUST TYPE THAT???] Then Of Course Im watching the back of him and I getting the best view ever. Light-skin, About  My height 5 ft 7 or 5 ft 8. Thick. and He Has The nicest Ass! I Mean Its Nice! Nice Size, Firm, Round, Sitting High, Just Overall Excellent. A Nice Athletic Ass. And Not To Mention When ever he took a step His Shirt Was moving in the back! I LOVE when a guys shirt moves in the back. Its like Instant Notification that: Yes! Im working with a fatty over here. Its All For Your Viewing Pleasure!

This Is Me @The Sight Of The Shirt  Moving.....

I Mean I Coulda Just Died! Just Died!

 But anyways, i finally make it to the time clock and he's their with some Miscellaneous white boy who lightweight was blocking my view, and I was ready to slap a bitch because of it. So he clocks out and turns my way, Im Instantly like :D  As THE HEAT Consumes Me. This dude is so my type he is So. Damn. Cute. I just walked pass checking him from every angle [and trust me he was cute from every angle possible] until he walked out the door. Luckily I was there alone because I definitely said out loud Damn Pa Is Fine! As Soon as he left I was already wondering what his name was, and when is the next time he worked. LOL.

More Later As I have Work To Do And I Dont Want Procrastination To Take Completely Over.....

Quick Recap

This Past week I have just been enjoying my week off from school. Just Relaxing and enjoying not having to week up early....Sleeping In..... How I love sleeping In....


My week so far has been OK.

Sunday: I went to church and the sermon was really good. I really got the message and I swore he was talkin' to me....

Especially When he said @ the end that he could feel there was someone who was a little confused and their at a stand still about joining the church. Don't be Afraid. Don't let the devil syke you out.... Upon those words i felt an immense swelling in my chest. I really felt as if he was talking directly to me..... [Especially since a few weeks ago I was supposed to join and ended up missing church last week.] Upon him saying that my dad and step mom both look at me and say what you waiting for?.... I was at a loss for words......

Monday: Was Just a straight chill day. My family except for my dad stayed home due to the Mere 5-6 inches of snow they got. It seems they shut everything down here if there is a chance of a light frost. I Can remember trekking to and from school in Feet of snow In Ohio. I Tell Ya.....
Monday Night I received some pictures From The guy Ive been talking too. After last week deciding to shut him completely down the pictures gave him some hope.... Wow was all i could say as each one was better than the last...His body is right..... I Must Say.... LMAO.. I feel as if i don't like him but hes definitely someone I could have sexual relations with when Im Visiting in OH..... Hey theirs nothing wrong with Sexual Relations As long as you safe about it..... [LMAO @ Sexual Relations] Anyways he made his way back on my good side..... For Now...... He's a cool dude but his conversation sucks..... I cant see it going anywhere besides the Casual Dickdown.....

Tuesday: Relaxed @ home with the little brothers until I went to work @ 4 Which also was slow and calming.... I Hope tonight is the same.....


On A Sidenote:

[Just Me, My Dignity, And This Guitar Case.... Wo----ah!] <- Love That Part....... My week has been an uneventful one lol. Im gave up Myspace for this month...... Im so damn tired of it. I think im going to delete the shit.... I barely use it and im tired of reading the same ol shit from people Back home[in Ohio] rambling about little kid shit... I'll see how I feel in a month. Ive been trying to get my CD Collection back to its former glory. Buying CD's here and there On TPC[Temporary Price Cut] from work. Most recently I had to get Amy Winehouse - Back To Black Back in my grasp.... I Love that CD and I definitely needed it seeing as how I been feeling lately....[I Also Got Janelle Monae - Metropolis: The Chase Suite..... I Love this girls sound I Cant wait for a full length.... Check Her Out...] My Music is my therapy and that CD always helped..... I Dunno My emotions are becoming stable but still I feel little Twinges here and their in my heart..... I Dunno whats going on with me...... All I can say is im going to enjoy these days I have to myself alone.....

[EDIT: After Showering I Realize That I Need Sto Start Focusing On Whats Going on Now. And Leave The past Behind Me. Like The Preacher Said: Your History Doesnt Determine Your Destiny.....]

Lose One, Gain Another

Me emotions have been a wreck lately..... 1 minute im up the other minute im down again. One Minute im as high as the sky itself the other minute im 50 below sea level. Its crazy for me right now. It seems as if I just cant find common ground within myself on what why and how I feel a certain way on a day to day basis. On top of my emotional drama and feeling oh so lost I have Tons Of Makeup Work All Due THIS WEEK! Some of which I should be doing right NOW!!!

Procrastination Is being such a friend to me but right after this post im right in the books.

Then On top of all the other ruckus. I finally feel as if im completely over my Ex. I mean finally. After seeing a picture of him and his current boo on myspace together. I felt nothing as the words "They look cute together" slipped from my lips. And it wasnt a lie they do look cute together, and it bothered me not One bit as I told him later on. I also told him "he looks really happy and I'm happy for him and I hope it works". He said "Looks Can Be Deceiving" Im Like "Yeah well you guys look really happy." I think me saying that let him know that things between us are definitely on a strict friend level. Something I already knew that but Iwasnt sure about him. He didnt sound too happy but I mean were still friends and I definitely want him to find someone he can be happy with. So it definitely wasnt a big deal to me. I think seeing that picture was definitely a test, a test I believe I passed with flying colors. And it just reassured myself what im Focused on these days, and where my heart is. :) I Dont even have to say It. Because I Know It.

Upon the release of that old flame, the guy [ Well Call him T ]I was talking to about maybe a month ago Has Reaapeared. After what he claims his "money being funny" and his phone being turned off for almost a month it seems and someone quitting their job someone beat my phone in monday night trying to give me their new number. I'm not attached to him at all for starters so it wasnt a big deal when he called. I was more wondering why when I get rid of one another tries to creep in??? I'm honestly perfectly content with being single. And for some reason I think this guy seems to be all about Sex. I'm definitely not tryna pursue something with him because for starters hes like 2.5 states away and I dont do long distance relationships. [I need you near Pa. You cant embrace me from miles away Im sorry.] At this stage im definitely just feeling him out and seeing what his intentions are. He's sexually attractive but im not laying down with just anyone. I know how to get a Niggas Dick hard and its nothing to me to do it on the phone or in the same room, But that dont mean im gonna let you Poke at me.... Nah not at all. I know for sure he definitely wants to hook up when I visit OH but like I said he needs to be felt out....

I Could use a good Dickem Down Session Tho.......

I Decided to join the church sunday....... I feeling so lost in life lately I definitely need HIM right now. I need some spiritual growth. Nothing else can guide me to where I need to go.

NEWS

Tomorrow January 17th is my Birthday. I'll be a Sexy Ass 22. This is the first time not having a birthday in Ohio and I'm kinda actually excited to be spending it with my family since I never have. I'm so blessed to have made it this far being that alot of people i grew up with died in highs chool and aint make it this far. Thank You GOD!

Hmmmmmmmm....................
Going to see Notorious Tonight...... I Have some high expectations for this movie being a Biggie fan so I'm hoping its worth my pops money lol. Yesterday we started early and drank some Crown Royal. I was buzzin lol. There's still about half the bottle left tho lol. Tomarrow after school [Yeah i have school on my birthday....Ugh!] Im going to my lil brothers soccer game and then im heading out to try sushi for the first time. Ive always wanted to try it since I was a kid so im excited to be tasting something new. I love trying diffrent foods. I hope I enjoy it.

I have the Best Best friend there is...... No one else can compare. Someone got me the new Keyshia & Kanye for my birthday.... No More streaming for me lmao. Love Ya Buddy!

On to other news......

I find it so funny how much an impact a picture can make......

I put some new ones up on Myspace and I been getting hit up left and right from people I knew back home for years Girls I used to talk to and guys who are gay or bi who have all suddenly take an interest in the Kid lol. :) Its so funny everyone's like you look so Mature you look like a Man...... WTH did I look like before? lol. My Ex even left a pic comment and later on when I told him about all the attention I was getting he blew up on me and even threatened to kick a couple peoples ass if they talked to me lol. COMEDY! Everyones leaving messages talking about why I aint never holla and they wish I was back home.... lmao.. Its funny to me..... Theres only one im really talking too and actually taking a liking too. His Body is soooooo Right and hes just a big as Freak as I am [Finally a guy who can match me in that department], and we get along really good. He has a sexy Phone voice lol. He's actually my dad's wife's nephew and someone I went to high school with and have known since we were like 11 or 12. lol. We have been talking for about a good 4 days and the conversation is good and he makes me laugh lol. We have alot of common interests. I dont know where its going but im enjoying the attention and the conversation..... It has the potential to go somewhere.... He's diffrent from other niggas back home. He's actually focused and trying to go places. And that Attracts me. He seems like a Go-Getter like myself.... And he knows that Ohio aint the place for him.... He wants to get out... hmmmm I dunno..... Like i said it has potential but were Just Friends talking at this point, its definitely nothing serious. If anything ill know i'll get some good Sex when I go home..... lol..... But anyways I'm enjoying being single and the prospects of dating around.... It's New......


I'll Keep you Updated.

IM READY

It took me forever to get over him. It took forever for my heart to heal..... My foolish heart. I finally got over my first love, my first boyfriend. I went from wanting to bust his windows to being able to talk to him and not feel anything when I heard his voice on the other end of the phone. It was weird not feeling my heartbeat accelerate, not twinge, not drop in the pit of my stomach, not spark. Nothing. I felt nothing. It was a normal conversation and at the end of it I think he could tell that I'm past the whole thing. I told him how I was doing and how good I felt. I asked him how things were back at home and he sounded bitter as he replied, "whatever". All in all I believe we can be friends. We definitely won't talk everyday, week or month. Were too[2] diffrent people, down 2 diffrent paths, going 2 diffrent places, living 2 diffrent lives. At the moment I believe We definitely won't be together again..... not until he can mature. This will probably be the last time I write about him besides the casual comparison or reference. That chapter is finally done.... closed. I know this for sure.
Like I said I don't think it will ever work and I'm content with just saying the casual hello. Besides I always knew my heart would let me know.


Its been 7 months that I've been single. I think I'm finally ready to date. I'm finally ready to take the right approach, to actually get to know a guy. I'm finally ready to enjoy another man's company in my life. Maturity, self-motivation, a drive to live life, broaden their horizons, and reach their goals are important. Personality is key and looks aren't everything but they are a plus[ the icing on the cake]. I feel as if Ill probably only find these qualities in a older guy. Which is fine I have always liked older men [The first guy I ever had sex with was 18yrs older than me]. But it would also be nice to find somone around my age who wants the same things I do. Race/nationality isn't a issue but I have the strongest attraction of all to Latinos. Its always been that way for me since I was like 6.... They do it for me. I dunno. I'm not looking for the man of my dreams right now just someone mature and like-minded. Someone who wants to go places, take the steps to get there, and is willing to grow with me.... I want a companion.....


Now if I could only find one out here in or near fredericksburg, VA. I just can't seem to see a single gay guy out here. I'm always attracted to the straight ones............

My luck........ :[

Obsession ( The Male Form Part - 2 )

Comments Are Appreciated. ;)

Obsession ( The Male Form )

Lately Ive been obsessed with the male form. the male physique. the male body. So Ive been trying to find pictures that would help me to draw the male form. I Think I May Have just found my first subject. I came across this Beautiful Deity just a few minutes ago and the first thing that popped in my head was my best friend and how much she'll like this guy. physically if I'm not mistaken, her type. i present to you fine ladies and gentlemen














Zach Burns - Model

Caribbean Men Of Color - Horizon Barcelona

OK OK OK OK. I Know Your Gonna Love these. These Are Some 10's Right Here. The Definition Of A Papichulo In My Book. I Found these on Another Blog Today (Which I Have Recently Added To My Noteworthy Selections Section). But I Just had to post them up on my own for that effect. I mean These Black & Latin Men Are Fine. I Mean It Aint like we all dont know that Black & Latin Men Are The Finest Men God Created. Why The Hell Else does everyone else run around tryna Be, Look, & Act Like Us.?!?


These Ladies and Gentlemen Are Deities
If I Had to choose from one of these fine specimen of Men i dont think i could choose just one. But At the moment im sure favoring Papi in the baby blue down there. All Of them 10/10 Scrumptious.



(Please Please Please Please Click For Larger Size's! Trust Me You Want Too! )

Click!

Enjoy!