Case Of The Ex [1]

Things and my ex these days seem to be a lot better. We are friends first these days and I think our relationship is better because of it. When I say relationship I mean strictly our relationship as Friends we are in no way shape or form together. Right now I really want to be single and I think he does too. More than ever tho now I notice the differences between us and makes me notice more and more that at times as bad as I want him to be I don't know if he is the one for me. Since we have become friends we have snuggled & slept together 2x. We love each other but again we both want to be single at the moment. We are different and yet the same, It confuses me to no end. We have a lot in a common but are personalities are sorta different. I really think I'm just more mature than he is being like almost 2 1/2 years older than he is. He says I'm more conservative. like on the rare occasions when I smoke a blunt or 2 like i did in the old days[I Try to be strictly a alchy these days Mr. Cuervo is my very best friend :) ] and I have smoked with him and his friends I just chill you know do me, they're the type that they have to get high and be all over the place and that's not me I just like to sit back chill and observe things you know enjoy my high I've never been the type to need to be the center of attention i have never been predictable [I move in the shadows] Lol. I dunno I have never really hung with people my age except my cousins having gone through as much as we went through as kids we were always so mature for our age taking care of ourselves and we always hung with and older crowd and our older cousins we rarely had friends our age. Shit when we first started seriously smoking and drinking and shit we were like 15-16 hanging with people at the very least 24+ and up we were always welcome because we weren't immature.



He I feel still has a lot of growing up to do especially in the area of actually taking the steps to enroll in college and have some sort of goal as to where he wants to be in 5 years [Not saying he needs a 5 year plan but I mean he should have some idea or goal as to where he wants to be or what he wants to have attained by then]. He says He does want to be together in the future and I'm not going to lie I can see us together in the future but I don't feel as if were on the same path right now. I'm not content with living in The town I grew up in In Ohio and I feel like he is. He says since we first met each other he has envisions us as this power couple who gay and straight people alike will respect and talk about as this great couple who has their shit together. Sadly I don't think he wants to take the initiative to get to that level. He says part of why he started to distance himself from me before we broke up [I broke up with him] was because he thought he was dimming my star and that I could do better than him because I'm trying to make a life for myself by going to school and working and he's just working and just got his GED not to long ago. I told him i didn't feel as if he was dimming my star but if he's tryna be the type of couple he told me about he needs to figure out where he wants to be. The other reason he distanced himself was because I am not out to the world like he is and wasn't out and open with our relationship. Coming out is a hurdle that I am trying to get over. I am out to my sister, Mother, & best friend. But I Have yet to come out to the rest of my family and friends. I sure some of them already know and are just waiting for me to spill it... I mean I'm not flaming or anything far from it but Ive never had a serious girlfriend like the rest of my cousins my age. Ive done sexual things with girls but I don't have the desire to actually sleep with one. but anyways coming out is something that isn't easy for me. It's a long journey and I'm not even half way there. I'm not the type to care what people think or say about me but I guess with my family I do in someways. I guess its because I know how harsh we are and how we always speak our minds. when me and him first got together he knew I wasn't out and was ok with me taking my time but I guess things changed down the road.......


I guess I'll have to do a 2nd part to this post because its getting way too long

Till Next Time.....

In The Last Couple Days.....

Things have been good for me lately besides the fact that I have been so damn busy these days. It seems like I never have a spare moment for myself. Work is work besides the fact that I have been being constantly disturbed and lightweight stalked by a co-worker-----
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If You haven't Got that new Jazmine Sullivan - Fearless,


Robin Thicke - Something Else,



or T.I. - Paper Trail [I'm a Weezy F Baby Fan to the fullest But im sorry T.I. Did it this time around]

You are definitely missing out.
These are most definitely the best Albums I have heard 08 thus far. I cant stop listening to Fearless Since I got it a couple days ago its just so unique and strong theres no one like her she will definitely be around till the end. Mr. Thicke definitely stepped it up from "Evolution" which was already damn good IMHO[damn that white boy is soulful & damn cute I might add], and quite frankly this is T.I.'s best album to date[I think its his first front to backer]. These albums should definitely win some damn Grammy's this year IMO.

----- Now back to our scheduled programming.

This chick has been honestly trying to get with me since last december[I wrote about her in my last random post] and cant get the clue. Not a day goes by where shes not hitting on me. Shes very desperate and seems like the psycho stalker type [You know the type that invite you over tie you up in they house and go on about they daily routine like you aint dying in the basement or something]. but appareantly this chick has been lying on me telling people on the front end of the store that me and her are dating and that we go out all the time. Excuse me???/??? Arent you 30+ so why are you still lying like your in highschool. I was happy when she seemed to be ignoring me for a week but tuesday she came back stronger than ever. But not only has she been lying on me shes been lying on cashiers saying she gets drunk with these underage girls at her house, hitting on another male cashier who just turned 18 mind you and then i hear shes lying on other people and getting into it with other people who work in the store. My black ass is not one to be lied on [one thing i cant stand is a liar] and if we wasnt in the workplace her ass woulda been Stomped Out I Repeat Stomped Out from one or a few of my many cousins. But anyways I went to the HR who wasnt at work that day so i went to the Next person in charge. I told him the whole history about how she been tryna get me since last december and when she was on medical leave was sending me messages through another co-worker, and how now that shes back she's relentless. I told him I dont have a problem working with her I just want her outta my hair. Well appareantly everybody she been lying on and getting into it with have went to the HR. I mean im not tryna get the girl fired like I said I dont mind working with her cause we work on opposite ends of the store but it sounds like to me the people on the front end want her gone and they all complaining and my inside source tells me she could get in trouble for sexual harrassment because the guy who just turned 18 went and told asap and says she be saying sexual things to him..... Again 30+......... I was just happy today she was ignoring me so maybe the manager told her to calm it down. I dont know ill have to keep you updated on her fate.

School is getting harder and with all the hours they been scheduling me at work its hard to study. I got a low C on my midterm which a nigga was not happy about. [Damn Computer Programming!] And the damn registrar still aint sent my transfer papers. I guess im going to have to call and remind her my black ass is tryna be gone out of ohio by the end of november I mean damn lick the stamp already!

Me and my good amiga Memphiz are planning a new blog dedicated To Music, Art, Fashion, Design, Decor and plethora of other things. Its still in the works So ill definitely let you know when that can be checked out.

Things with my Ex are good but thats a whole nother post that im going to write about shortly......


Lord Knows I need a Mental And Physical Break!!!!!!!!!!!!


Till Next Time........

U

I didn't hear from U for almost 2 months and then I find out U R engaged.

I'm Hurt.

Less than a week after congratulating U on Ur Engagement I get a call.

He did U wrong The engagement is Over.

U Apologize, We Talk, We Chill, We're friends.

We let the past be the past

I Let U Back In.

U and I Embrace and it feels like We never ended....

But We are just Friends, That Is Certain.

I Hope this isn't a mistake.

Time Will Tell......