As of late, I have been becoming increasingly bored with blogger. I think I'm so tired of writing about my life and I'm more interested in documenting things that I like, and inspire me....I've noticed the trend with other bloggers as well.... some people aren't updating for weeks at a time..... I mean when I update it seems like a hassle just to want to write..... It used to come ever so easily.... @ the moment I think I'm going to concentrate on my self improvement, this lil pet project I have started over @ Tumblr, and my other blog Visionaries.... I need things to feed my creative energy.....In other words.... I wont be posting here for a good while.... I will continue to log on read and comment on those that I follow....But, I need a break from this.... I'm just done for right now.... I'm sure ill return, but right now.... A much needed Break is due....until I Return....» PRIMO
I Tell You..... Bus Rides are a fucking mess! I Will never [I Repeat] NEVER Ride another damn Greyhound Unless absolutely necessary and I have no choice But to be dragged on the bus. The damn ride there was the worst. Crackheads running in falling in the main aisle, Africans talking in 7 dialects, Funky white women, People watching and showing other people porn on their phone, the smells, and Plain ass crazies sticking quarters in their ears and having conversations with themselves as if they were on a blue tooth. I couldn't wait till I seen the "Welcome to Ohio" Sign I was like yes only a few more hours of this Insanity....
Right now I'm getting ready to pack my shit to get on this 14hr <[Just Going To Die.... I Mean Just Die!] bus ride back home to Ohio @ 6:05pm. Washing up some last minute items, charging all my little electronic devices, Packing snacks, making sure I got everything and having what I like to call when I preview a new CD, a "Studio Session" Wth this Electrik Red - How To Be A Lady, Vol. 1. I Been listening to it for the last 2 days. For those that liked "So Good" I think you'll love the CD. The Explicit Version, Of Course. The-Dream's influence is all over this baby, and since he wrote & produced almost every damn song [With that other guy], you can only expect it. They have a really good sound going for them. They're no Destiny's Child or Danity Kane[I'll Miss those girls], They Sound Like Neither...... But honestly their better than Danity Kane to me, I could never listen to one of their albums straight through like I can this Electrik Red. They Have their own little Niche, and are some of the best songs I've heard in '09. I Heard They Made This Baby in 2 weeks. It seems like some really good albums are made when they do it in a shorter time span [Beyonce - B'Day, Kanye West - 808s & Heartbreak]. They're not the nice girls. These are Bitches Wit Attitude! LOL! Not to mention they are Sexy and have a nice lil style going on. But honestly its definitely worth a listen [You can On Myspace or IMEEM, BTW]. And since they have literally no competition......[Correct me if I'm wrong but, What other R&B/Pop Girl group is there?] I Think they are here to stay....
Ok Back To The Sexy....
This is one Film I Must See [besides Transformers & Harry Potter] This Year. Gotta See It. The trailer is just so damn Honest & Real!
Watch It And See What I Mean!
Forgiveness....
@ the end of this month, I will have been single for a whole year. A Whole Year. I bring it up because I was just thinking yesterday about how far i've come, how strong I have become, How much I have matured, and how my outlook on relationships and what I want and look for in a guy have changed. Yesterday though, my Ex text me asking me about my myspace status. We then somehow got into a conversation about if either of us thought their could ever be an "Us" again. I already knew that answer on my end and I knew his also seeing as how he's in a relationship. We both mutually agreed No. Him because he's really enjoying his 16yr old Soul mate, and he's in love. I'm honestly happy for him. To Each His own. Me because I'm don't see any reason in going backwards in something that I don't feel will work beyond a friendship. We are way better friends than we were lovers, In my opinion. So it was cool to me that we both mutually agreed on it and there was no hard feelings on either end. Well not on my end anyway. I felt, even though we both had moved on ages ago, it gave us some type of closure in something that was still kind of an acute loose end.
Its been a year for me, and I'm honestly ready to date. I Say date because I dunno how I feel about a serious relationship right now. I'm honestly content being Single. Working on myself. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy the company, and conversation of a Sexy man, but I don't feel like being in a relationship.... Maybe a couple months down the road but right now... I'm Cool On It! And honestly before I can be in a relationship I need to tackle one last "Hurdle". That "Hurdle" being coming out to my father. That main point of my visit home was to talk to my mom about it. But if push comes to shove I know I have somewhere to go back to, even if Ohio isn't where I want to be. But, Once that is accomplished then and only then can I feel I can commit myself to someone worthy of my Time/Love/Heart openly and honestly. This last year has really been a eye opening one for me. I made a lot of mistakes, that I have learned from. But most importantly i learned a lot about myself. I was able to overcome and triumph over a lot, and that I am grateful for.
Now it just seems I have to climb over this wall and meet the person on the other side. Me. Waiting to greet, comfort, and pat myself on the back, breathing with relief.
I wrote this the other day in a couple minutes on my blackberry... Very short, very simple. It just summed up what was going through my head at the moment. Enjoy.
My Heart Is So Open
And yet, Its Closed
The Love I Have No One Knows
I think a lot
Oh yes, Its true
I think a lot
A lot about you
Someone I haven't spoken to
Someone I haven't seen
Someone I May never know
Someone who is made for Me
The road is long
And I have just Refueled
I'm ready for the stops
The heat
The cool
I don't know where I stand
If I still believe or not
But like what I said is true
I think a lot
A lot
About you....
Copyright © 2009 LD
No One is doing it for me like Dwayne Johnson......
Every time I see him I get what I call The Heat. THE HEAT always seems to happen to me when I see something so Amazingly, Perfectly, Scrumptiously, Appealing and its like my body gets surges of solar flares or something. All I know is the blood flows and I get ridiculously warm all over. Dwayne Johnson never fails to have this effect on Me. He just seems to always be looking better and better. I bought the GIANT Magazine with him on the cover :D This is one man if I ever got up under you would never see or hear from me again. Here's Some Photos I Love..... Enjoy!
I Tell ya every time I give someone a chance again they ruin it. I'm done with guys from my hometown, I'm sure of it. the guy who I was talking to who from back home I think I Refer to As T on here [if I didn't who really cares?] appeared out of nowhere again after disappearing for weeks. It seems like ill talk to this guy for a good 2 weeks and hell disappear for at least 3-4 wks and return with a new phone number and acting as if we just talked yesterday. I don't even like dude seriously. I'm only halfheartedly sexually attracted to him [aint that a shame]. Before he contacted me a couple days ago he was telling me how he hit up my ex on Myspace [they're old friends from high school who talked but their was no connection] and they exchanged numbers, and messaged each other etc. So he calls me up telling me how he talked to my ex and how he seen my ex's new boyfriend and how cute my ex was blah blah etc. Old shit I already know. He talks about my ex as if he's trying to get some kind of rise or start some kind of drama but seems taken aback when I tell him oh, OK. That's cool. Hes like you don't care if i talk to him. I'm like no. me and my ex are friends and we don't even talk on the phone like that he may text me like once every 2 months to see how I'm doing and that's the extent of the conversation. at this point T is seeming kind of salty. I mean I only told him I didn't care about my Ex how many times? Been There, Done That, Moved On. So the next day I talk to my Ex and I tell him about T. Hes like "oh he didn't tell me you guys talked or whatever.... that's why he was asking me stuff about you on Myspace and stuff," I'm like "yeah he told me talked to you on their. I told him "T's OK but I don't like him and theirs nothing more than a slight sexual attraction." He's like "I really don't see him as your type". I tell him "hes not honestly" he also told me T asked to hang with him and his new Bf and he told T No. We laugh and hang up. So what do ya know the next day T hits me up. We talk about nothing[as usual] and he asks me when the last time I talked to my Ex. I tell him annoyed last night and that I told him that we talked. He's like "Shocked" and then he's like "I didn't tell him we talked.... that's why he isn't answering any of my Texts or anything." At this point I'm thinking what is he trying to pull. Putting the math together I think hes trying to talk to both of us at the same time or what? I Dunno. Then he starts to laugh like maybe I shouldn't be talking to both the Exes at the same time. I Tell Him that I don't care who he talks to because I'm not dating either of them and I'm grown and can do what the hell I want when I want and so can he, and that him talking to my ex doesn't bother me in the least bit. I also told him im not feeling him like that. He's like don't act like you don't care about my Ex blah blah blah. I tell him whatever I don't know what he's on but I'll talk to him later because he talks about nothing!!!! And to be quite frank I don't have time for someone trying to start drama.
So anyways he hits me up like 3 days ago and I tell him ill call him back since I was truly busy at the moment. I didn't call him back. The next day after i lay down at someone blows my phone up 4 times while I'm sleep. NOW AGAIN! Everybody knows when I'm sleep! I'M SLEEP!. Aint no coming back. Especially to answer the phone for someone I don't really like. I can see if it was someone I like but no it wasn't so I let it ring and rolled over. No Pillow talk Tonight! Sorry For ya! I mean we wasn't gonna talk about shit anyway. conversation with this guy is Mundane, tired, and boring as hell. All he wants to do is talk about sex. That's it. talking about sex and exchanging pictures gets so boring after a while. At this point I'm so damn annoyed! So Thursday night he calls and we talk for about a half hour. He gonna tell me I be on Bullshit cause I like to play phone tag. Excuse me? I dont call you, you call me. So what the hell are you talking about. I'm Annoyed. Conversation commences and The whole time I'm sleepy as hell, bored as hell, wondering why I'm wasting my time and ready to get off the phone. I told him I was coming home the first of May and someone auto assumed they were getting some of this. Um..... NO! N.O. I mean he still at this point thinks hes gonna get the chance to poke at this. Naw sorry. After ignoring his relentless banter about what he THINKS hes gonna do to my "cheeks" <-[His words, Tomfoolery @ its best!] he switches the conversation from sex to ...... For A Thousand Alex....... SEX! UGH!!!!!!
Sidenote:
[This is what my eyes looks like in the direction of the phone at this point....]
[BTW, This Child is sending someone Some serious Heat! Cyclops Style!]
I'm sorry I enjoy sex just as much if not More than the next man, I Have a very high sex drive, I'm a big freak and I love getting it BUT that don't mean I wanna talk about it ALL day. Theres more to me than that. I told myself after breaking up with my ex that I would try to get to know guys I talked to before jumping into all that sex talk. Because quite frank I want the guy to get to know me. I wanna take things slow and know you. Not just fuck you. lmao. At first I was interested but as you can see I'm clearly not. Someone as of yesterday is getting cut off. I Will no longer be answering his calls or texts. I'm just plain annoyed. I'm Done.
