Sunday, December 30, 2007

My Last Post: '07

As i have said many times before, i cant wait for this year to be over. Im anticipating starting a F.R.E.S.H. new year. And with this new year i plan on being a new me. Someone whos about they business, refocused, on they J.O.B.. I plan on doing alot of positive things this year to better myself emotionally, physically, mentally, and my entire outlook on life. NO! In no way am i trying to make resolutions because those are simply things that most people dont even make it to January 2nd actually doing. Im simply stating that this year will be diffrent for me and that i will live it up this year. Focused.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas

Its Christmas Morning....... Like any year since the sixth grade the first thing i thought about when i woke up this morning was that it doesn't feel like Christmas. Not at all. I guess since ill be having to drop out of school very soon, i cant find the motivation to really get happy about anything anymore. I feel like my future is in limbo. It seems as if i can never catch a break never have a moment in my life when things can go right for once. I finally find a job and now i have no for sure transportation to school. It seems like even when I'm trying to do something right, something positive, something that will better myself there is always something that goes wrong or something i cant seem to fix that brings me right back to down to square one. Something that always has the ability to break the little bit of spirit i have left in me just a little more. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just not meant to accomplish anything. If I'm just destined to live my life as a dreamer, someone who dreamed of doing bigger and better things but just never seemed to get that far. At this point i feel like i have everything against me. Like I'm backed into a corner with no possible way of getting out, like theirs no significant sliver of light to guide me out of this darkness. I'm trying to keep a optimistic demeanor but i feel as if threes no hope. I feel as if I really just cant seem to get ahead. Ill never be where i want to be. At a time where i am supposed to be grateful and happy i cant help but to think that Ill die here a sad lonely man thinking about what i could have done with my life......

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Down...

So much has been on my mind lately. Too much to formulate into words. Too much for my fingers to type. Too much. So many things have happened this last month. Im so ready for this year to end. Im ready to start new. I need a fresh start. 2007 was nothing but a bad year for me. There were a few good things that happened to me, but as the year went on it just seemed to get worse and worse and im so ready to forget it all. I have so many problems and so many things that seem like their too impossible for me to fix. I feel like in the end ill be the loser in this situation even when im trying so hard to finally do positive things and actually doing very good. I say it over and over that there always seems to be some kind of hurdle blocking my path to a better me. Nothing seems to be going right at this point. I havent smiled in weeks.


.......... I Dont even feel like finishing this post.

A Song I Always Listen To When Im Down. Personal Favorite.

Kelis - Get Along With You

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

This Past Week

This is one of my absolute favorite songs (If not my #1 Favorite) of all time. I would listen to this song while you read this post.




In the midst of all that is happening around me...... i have somehow managed to be inspired by some of the little things i encounter everyday. Like the cartoons i watch, the music i listen to, the people around me who are trying to do positive things with their life's and are going places, and of course the most positive thing in my life these last couple months.......Love.......

So many things have happened to me in the last week. Regrets, revelations, truth, and of course many problems. This last week has shown me that i need to work even harder than i am now to get to where i want to be in the next 5 years. It has shown me that i need to make a lot of changes in my life. A lot of these changes that will benefit me for the good but, a lot of these changes will also cause me to separate from a lot of people i feel who bring me down in many ways, and a lot of people who are negative influences on me. I think i need to get away and make the necessary steps to insure that in 10 years i still wont be here, and that i will be happy, living, and loving myself and my life. I need to insure that in 10 years i will be dependent upon only myself and that i wont be going through the same petty problems and mishaps that i go through today. I believe i need to look around me at the world and the people in my life and realize that i truly don't want to end up like these people. So many people around me aren't truly living and aren't fully capitalizing on their potential to be so much more. I myself too believe that at the moment i am not capitalizing on my potential. I guess what this means is that i need to truly, truly, truly put away all the childish things i am doing, concentrate only on what the future can bring, stop looking back and only look forward. By in no way do i mean that i will forget my past and where i come from, but i believe that on those occasions when i do happen to get a little lost on my way to better things and happen to glance over my shoulder that i should use my past as motivation to work harder and do even better.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Tagged!

I have been tagged. According to Numerology 7 Is My life Number. So Here are 7 Random Facts About Me! Enjoy.


***************************************************

* One of my lifelong goals is to move out of Ohio. I See myself in Florida, Georgia, or somewhere else where it stays warm and there is very little to no snow.

* I hate liars. I Don't deal with, interact, or associate myself with people that lie. Sadly, a great number of people in my life lie for no reason

* I am a gay black male and no one in my family knows this but my mother and stepfather. Im still learning alot about myself and learning to love myself in an environment where i have no one to look up to and everyone around me including family hates people like me. None of them have asked me about it yet but im sure they have some idea. Even my mother and stepfather arent completely ok with my sexuality but i am learning to live for myself and no one else.

* I LOVE Latinos! For some reason i have never messed with a black male as of yet (which i just noticed last night) But i love me some Latin men. My Boyfriend Is Boricua/Mexican. I Dunno Why I Have This Attraction To Them..... I Just Do! ( I Just Love Me Some Daddy Yankee)

* I Feel like i should be farther ahead and have acquired more in my life, but in my life there always seem to be some kind of road block that hinders my progression to make a better life for myself. (and it bothers me to see people who are sitting around doing nothing have much better lives
than i do and have more than me).

* I want to make a career out of Graphic Design, but sadly i dont want to be a starving artist. I Mean im already starving....... So now I Quench my artistic thirst Drawing, Designing shoes, reading / watching fashion & Anime/Manga Cartoons. I Also want to do Photography.

* Rihanna & Chris Brown Are My 2 favorite singers at the moment. I Love that they do their own thing and have their own style.

Hmmmmm............ 7 Already, I Guess that is all. :)

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Snow

I Despise the snow. No I can honestly say that i believe HATE is an ugly word. But I HATE the snow. Its only the first of December and the snow is here. i mean it couldn't wait for the month to change so that it could come and ruin the weather. Now there will be countless numbers of people who will not know how to drive in the snow. It will be ridiculously cold out. Ugggh! How i HATE, Hate, HATE the snow. I long for the day when i move from out of this hell that is Ohio and down to Florida where its sunny and warm all year long. Or anywhere for that matter where the snow just doesnt seem to exist in the winter months.


I'm Not Happy. Not At All.
:(

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Reanimation

Lately i have been thinking of making myself over. Reanimating my style. I have always noticed that around where i live every guy wheres the same thing, The Norm. The norm meaning White tee, jeans, gym shoes and im so ready to seperate myself from that look. One thing that i said i wanted to do was a more fitted look and i already wear more fitted shirts i now buy sizes no larger than a medium a large if i have to but no larger than that. The problem is im still wearing the norm: White tee, jeans, gym shoes and i desperately want to eliminate these items from my wardrobe. White tees will be for sleeping in, my jeans will be a tighter fit no more baggy jeans for me thus meaning i will have to actually try things on at the stores WHICH I HATE WITH A PASSSION! I will eliminate sweat pants from my wardrobe completely will be for those cold winter nights. For those days where i just fill like i want to throw on a pair of sweat pants i will replace those with some nice Nike/Jordan track/warm up pant types. I want to my look to be more fitted, more casual, more mature, yet sporty and comfortable. My shoe game will consist of many diffrent brands. I Love Nike Dunks(My #1 Favorite type of Shoe), Puma, Timberland, Chuck Taylors, and many other diffrent shoe brands. Im especially feeling those casual gym shoes that you can where with some nice pants and a nice button up or polo and wear out to the club. Yeah Who Makes Those Types? I Want a more casual mature look. Ecko is my absolute favorite brand and i love Marc Ecko's more mature Line Cut & Sew (links In My Section To The Right). Im Tired of dressing like im still in highschol & every other male i know that lives in my area. It's time to seperate myself from the pack and dress the way i want in my own style no matter what anyone else has to say about it. Im just really at the point where im ready to do me and say you either with me or against me. Lifes way to short to worry about other people at this point.



It's time to do me.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

WORKING OUT!

Lately i have been talking about how my weight or lack there of is bothering me again. Ive Always wanted a nice body, it doesnt have to be like the guys i see in the magazines but just something that i can look at in my mirror and be satisfied with.
Im Doing It For Me, so that i can be satisfied with my appearance
As Of Tomorrow I Am gonna research the steps necessary to get the body i want. Im 5ft 7in and right now im 120 Pounds. dont get me wrong heavier guys have told me they would kill to be this thin and my boyfriend loves my body. :) Im very good looking Nice Flat stomach, toned. But I hate being thin. Ive always wanted to be heavier, have more meat on my bones. Be More muscular. My Goal Is To Be Between 160-175. The Highest my weight has ever been was 140 ( I Loved My Body Then!!! ). So as of tomorrow im going to try to start to consume healthier food and more of it And of course work out to build muscle. I figure this way i'll save tons of money on the gas i wont use going to the east side. So when i get bored at home I'll Work on my art/drawings and hit the weights. Now All i need is a IPod to listen to while i work out. Ill Post any Updates on here of course. So Wish me luck and my goal to get in shape and be healthy.
Tips & Advice are more than welcome.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A Break

I was gonna post last night. but i was waaaaaaayyyyy to tired from typing my paper. I wrote that bad boy in about 2 1/2 hours and its full of nothing really. All of my papers that i have written for this one class that i have to write papers for have been full of nothing. I pull sentences outta nowhere, thesaurus.com is my amigo.

I'm so tired of life at the moment. My money woes, school, finding a job, my relationship. It's all just too much at times. I'm so glad that tomorrow is thanksgiving and i can finally have a decent meal this week. my weight has dropped from actually not having a decent meal this week. One of my top 3 goals was to have healthy body image, to always have the body i wanted a nice muscular toned body. But having my dream body requires nourishment and exercise. Dont get me wrong i have the weights to use but not the food. To have food you need dinero and thats just something im lacking at the moment. I already have a fast metabolism and about a year and a half ago when i was actually gaining weight and reaching my goal of 150-160 pounds i got a job that used and worked me to the bone for minimum wage and i started to lose weight very quickly. If i skip a meal i literally begin to lose weight. it takes me forever to put it on but i can lose pounds in a matter of hours. Ive found in order to gain and maintain weight when i put it on i have to eat at least every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Right now my weight is a mere 120. well actually its about 116 according to the scale and it something im not to happy about. i love food and miss it very much but at the moment im struggling to stay sane and alive on a daily basis. thats why im so so so so happy that after tonights class i have a week and a half off from school and i start a new job come saturday. Im relieved but still not where i want to be. Im really gonna have to go above and beyond so that these people keep me at the end of the season, because this job is purely seasonal. So either they keep me come january or its off too me searching for a new job again. I can only pray i suppose. I need a break tho. Life is beating me up at the moment.

My relationship sometimes confuses me to no end. He has mood swings like a girl on his period.
I dunno. Im Tired of everything.

Like i said, Life is beating me up at the moment. :(

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Andre? Where’s Andre? Has anyone seen Andre?

Project Runway Is Back And I Am Relieved.
I mean with the abundance of shows like I Love New York, A Shot At Love, And The Disappointing Real World(only The Episodes In Coral-Vision Are Entertaining) Which They Bombard you 5-6 times a day with numerous reruns of episodes you seen what 4 hours earlier, TV Is ridiculous at this point. There are only a few good shows on tv that i actually take the time to watch and project runway is one of them. Theres alot of refreshing designers on this season. A LOT of talent and fresh new personalities. I Mean if you watched the first episode you can tell season 4 is gonna be very very good if not one of the best. Theres so many designers i dont think i can pick a favorite at the moment. Some of the ones im going to keep my eye out for is Carmen, Ricky, Christian (what an ego!), Rami, And a lot of the others. Those were just a few i remembered of the top of my head. Oh Yeah and the hippie tree-hugging flower child who embued the fabric with grass stains. HILARIOUS! but the bitch can sew. Theres really alot of talent. Project Runway has given me a reality show with some substance besides people gettind drunk every night and competing for someones Love. I Mean how come there hasnt been a gay show like this yet? Do Gay People Not Need To Find Love??????? & Get Drunk? Geez.
I have my set shows each week.
Heroes
Cane
ANTM ( I Only watch for Bianca & Salisha )
Project Runway
Avatar: The Last Airbender ( Dont Hate I Love Cartoons And This Is The Best One Out!!!!)
Now............ Make It Work!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Liars

Ok So I call target the fucking HR Human resources manager isn't there. So Im gonna call him tomorrow to see whats up with this job. Or else im headed to the temp service. i gotta do what i gotta do. my day was ruined when i found out my lying ass grandma and lying ass aunt fucked my money situation up. Im no longer associating myself with these two people. they are now considered Frenemies. They will get no longer than arms length. they can have nothing from me. NOTHING. not a ride not a hi not a dollar. Im sick of being fucked over by people when they know my situation. im tired of helping people when they in need and in return they fuck me over. im done dealing with people who do nothing but bring me down further in this game called Life. Im So tired of the people i dont need. I feel like its time to trim the fat. Im Done with them. everyone knows i hate liars and i dont deal wit liars. I feel like if they aint spitting out dollar bills then they have nothing to say to me. flat out. That's all too it at this point. I feel like at this point the only people i can trust is my mom, dad, best friend and my boyfriend. IM DONE! Its sad, but at this point i feel like its true. no one else gives a damn about my situation. im tired of life.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Obsession ( The Male Form Part - 2 )




Comments Are Appreciated. ;)

Obsession ( The Male Form )

Lately Ive been obsessed with the male form. the male physique. the male body. So Ive been trying to find pictures that would help me to draw the male form. I Think I May Have just found my first subject. I came across this Beautiful Deity just a few minutes ago and the first thing that popped in my head was my best friend and how much she'll like this guy. physically if I'm not mistaken, her type. i present to you fine ladies and gentlemen














Zach Burns - Model










Thursday, November 08, 2007

Chris Brown - Exclusive


What Can I Say. He Put His Foot In This One. Its A Front To Backer Here Ladies & Gentlemen. He Definantly Set Himself Apart With This One. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay Better Than The 1st. If you Dont Have It Go Buy It. Its Worth The $10.00 And I Aint Bought A CD Since '88. You Definantly Notice The Growth In Subject Matter. Give It A 10/10. He's Doin His Thing And Has No Competition From Anyone His Age In the Music Biz.


Interview

Interview Tomarrow. Wish me Luck People. Pray For Me.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

What The Feezy

What The Feezy!!!!!! (Took It Back To H.S. Wit Dat One) Ahhhh. im so ready to find a job its ridiculous. i mean i cant wait for a call back. i feel like an actor waiting for my big break, a musician waiting to be signed. i just dont have any luck right now. Im desperately seeking a job. gonna hit up the mall tomorrow hoping i find something. even if its just seasonal would do me some good yknow. cant a nigga get a break. Not only do i have to deal with being embarrasingly broke, my mom is calling me like every morning talkin bout i need to go look for a job. HELLO! LIKE I AINT LOOKING. Im so sick of people always tryna tell me what to do. and its always the same people who dont do anything for me.
Im getting tired of school. im passing dont get me wrong 2 A's and a B. But im just so sick of being broke. It's making me negative at a time when everything else is so positive. i remember when i used to say im so happy i have a job and everything else in my life was in shambles. not everything is smooth except for my problem of not having a income in a world where at the end of the day its me and only me caring about my well being. Well no thats not entirely true i am in a relationship with someone who loves me for me. And im grateful for that. What can I say i guess i got no other choice but to keep looking until the good lord blesses me with something.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Worry

I worry about my Money Problems. Its is the only thing wrong in my life right now. I know i have bitched and bitched and bitched about this situation in countless blogs to date but it is my only problem at the moment. Im Ace-Ing School right now. Couldnt have a more wonderful and loving relationship. My 1st mind you and its almost been 2 months. 2 WHOLE MONTHS! STICK THAT IN YOUR BACK POCKET!!!!! But my money problem is the biggest thing on my plate. I just cant seem to find a job anywhere. and im in desperate need of money at the moment. I really dont feel like asking my dad for some money because he's already offered to buy my glasses which will be expensive mind you because im picking them out and he paying. But having to pay for gas to go to school everyday(which is Far) and having to buy food everyday is killing me. Not to mention I have bills to pay like the next person. I MEAN IM REALLY BROKE!!!!! I MEAN I have little to no money at this point. Im reaching Zero and im so ashamed at my financial situation. Ashamed. No one knows how much money i really have because i am Ashamed. I Am so Ashamed at how broke i am. So Ashamed....... Im Trying To Keep A Cool Head But At This Moment Only God Knows How I Feel. And Only He Has My Back.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Caribbean Men Of Color - Horizon Barcelona

OK OK OK OK. I Know Your Gonna Love these. These Are Some 10's Right Here. The Definition Of A Papichulo In My Book. I Found these on Another Blog Today (Which I Have Recently Added To My Noteworthy Selections Section). But I Just had to post them up on my own for that effect. I mean These Black & Latin Men Are Fine. I Mean It Aint like we all dont know that Black & Latin Men Are The Finest Men God Created. Why The Hell Else does everyone else run around tryna Be, Look, & Act Like Us.?!?


These Ladies and Gentlemen Are Deities
If I Had to choose from one of these fine specimen of Men i dont think i could choose just one. But At the moment im sure favoring Papi in the baby blue down there. All Of them 10/10 Scrumptious.



(Please Please Please Please Click For Larger Size's! Trust Me You Want Too! )



Click!



Enjoy!







It'$ Ju$t Life

$$$$$Dinero. Money. $$$$$$ I need it so badly. I gotta alot of shit to pay for and no money to cover it. Cell Phone Due. Insurance. Gas Money. Food Money. Not To Mention i need money to buy new breaks which will cost me about $100.00. I Need A New Job So Very Badly. its not even funny. my financial situation is bonkers right now and all i can do is ask god to send me something soon. Not to mention theres so many things i need. I Mean THANK GOD I was smart enough to catch a winter jacket on sale last march for $25 or i prolly wouldnt have one this winter. Its crazy right now. Everybody think i got money in the bank when really a nigga is broke. Embarrassingly BROKE. Im going to look 2marro morning for something with my grandma hopefully god blesses me soon. Christmas is coming around and i would love to get Not only myself but others stuff. All I Can Do Is Pray At This Point. :(

Monday, October 22, 2007

.............Short Update..............

The Tribe Lost...........
Hungry.............
Jobless.................
Bank Account Nearing $0.00 Status

Can u say trying to stay optomistic about life, but financial woes and bills drawing nearer are slwoly but surely bringing me down. God Please Send Me A J.O.B. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now i must go to school.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Thinking......

Listening To> Rihanna - Good Girl Gone Bad






Thinking always gets me down. its like 12:00 o clock and a nigga is bored at home by himself. Thinking about life & my relationship. I think in my relationship I have a tendency to over think things. Right now im really missing Him. I feel like theres something between us. I Feel like he distances himself from me like hes afraid to open up to me at the moment. Sometimes i wonder is he still feeling me. Sometimes hes just so quiet & other times hes so vibrant like theres an aura around him and he loves being around me. Now dont get me wrong i know he love me and I him, but he has a turbulent past and has trouble expressing his feelings whens he down and out. And i YEARN for him to open up to me. I mean me and him plan on being forever together. We only been together a month and we already talkin bout how its gonna be when we move in together lmao. We cant wait. I Love Him. I Just wish he would open up. But yknow its only been a month and i havent really considered that at the moment. It feels like we been together for forever yknow. So yknow i guess i cant be mad or upset its only been a month. I cant exactly expect him to just open up about everything and spill his guts to me yknow. But like I told him, When he's ready Im here to listen.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Refocus......[$$]

Wait Till I Get My Money Right.......



As of late i have been equally bored. My financial problem is increasingly becoming a burden as my bank account is rapidly dwindling like a sack of weed at any party in lorain. I need to find a source that can put a deposit into my bank account very quickly. Things are starting to look very rough on my end. Im just hoping God blesses me very soon. Very Soon. I Need to Refocus.





+ I Need to buy myself my favorite bottle of alcohol and enjoy a drink by myself. I Need A Short Breather To Relax............ And











After i Find a job Of Course. I Need Money To Buy The Bottle Right?!?!?!
So My #1 Goal FOr Right now is find A Means Of Income. A J.O.B. MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!











I Love this Girl Right Now. Her Style, Her Music, Her Presence. Her. Its Just Something About Her That I Love. And I Stay Bumpin That New CD. She's My Favorite Singer Out Now Besides The Classics. Shes Just Something Unique.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Emotions

In The Words Of Beyonce & Co. "Its Just Emotions Taking Me Over." I Dont know how i feel at the present moment. I feel indifferent about things today. I Just dont know how i feel. Im Mellow but kinda down at the same time. I Want to See my Papi & He's ghost. I guess its a good thing that we aint smothering each other. He has time to see his friends and fam. but at the same time i want to see him. I feel like these last 2-3 days weve been really distant toward each other. Maybe its just me but i feel like i havent talked to him much. i guess maybe that comes with the relationship. I mean im hardly the expert this being my 1st ever real relationship. Were a month into our relationship and me i just want to be around him more i guess. I Love him so much and i dont want to lose him. I just want him close to me right now. Theres a road block keeping him away i suppose. But i mean if hes uncomfortable why not just say it. And I Mean he's gonna have to meet these people anyway right. There my immediate family so.... but i dunno i dont wanna rush nor ruin how good things are going right now, I LOVE THIS PERSON SO MUCH. He's Someone Who's Become Very Important And Special to My Heart In Such a very Short Time. I Mean My Mom Even Asked How He Was Doing Today. I Mean If Thats not a good sign what is yknow. But I guess this comes with it, this feeling when you cant be close to the one you love.


I Have to admit writing this down and Listening to some Classic Aaliyah - At Your Best (You Are Love) Really Makes Me Feel Up And Grateful For What I Have Right Now. I Love this Song. Makes Me Feel In Love.


Love......... Something So New To Me.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

J.O.B. (Short Update


A Nigga Just may have a job waiting in the wings. Can U Say Happy! I Can (<-Funny Huh. Those Of U Who Get It Anyway:) But Im So Happy Got A Call back in like 2 hours. So Im Praying Wishing Hoping I Get Me A JOB. I Need this so BAD People u Have no Idea. Now I Must call the Love Of My Life With The Good News.

CLEVELAND!!!! CLEVELAND!!!!


A.L. Central Champions The Cleveland Indians Just WIPED THE FLOOR Wit the YANKEES!!!! Ending The Series 3-1. And Now theyre headed to Fenway to play the redsox. Haters Keep Hating. We Goin All The Way CLEVELAND!




Monday, October 08, 2007

Hmmmm........

The Tribe Is 2-1 Now. They Lost Last Night 8-4. 1 more game just 1 more game.



~




I Went to Cedar Point yesterday. So fun. Havent been there since Prom 2005. I rode any and everything. After waiting in line for almost a hour and 10 minutes we finally boarded the new ride The Maverick. It was definantly worth the wait. I bitched the entire time we were waiting. But afterwards i was happy. Its definantly Definantly worth the wait. Cedars Points prices are rediculous. $3.00 for a 20oz Soda that you would pay at the most a $1.29 in a grocery store. $1.50 For A Bag Of Chips $1.50 For 50 cent candybars like M&Ms and Snickers not even king size. $5.00 for cheese fries milkshakes. $3-4.00 for Pop. $7-10.00 For Meals like hamburgurs chicken fingers chinese wit fries. Did i mention $2.99 for a Eggroll. A EGGROLL!!!!!!!!!!! Rediculous. I Refused to pay that much money for food. so i kinda starved and survived off others of pop (which my mom paid $8.00 for the refillable cup and refills were a $1.06) till i got home. I was already tired from the night before gettin about 5 hours of sleep. My Papi slept over and i woke him up after i got dressed. Then we said our goodbyes and then he ended up getting lucky and going to cedar Point with his fam. i seen him for about 5 seconds :( at the power tower. :( but i didnt get to hang wit him. Cuz we lost sight of him in the halloween parade thing they had goin on. I feel sorry for him tho i know he tired. we got lil to no sleep the night before woke up at 8:30 to go to cedar point then he got home at like 11:00 and had to go to wake up for work @ 4:00am. Yeah i know my babys tired. I Love Him So Much. I just Hate to hear and see him stressed cuz he doin so much. Not to mention his family bought a bar and he helpin there part time also. So He doing alot. I love Him.




~




My BestFriend wentt to NYC. Lucky B. Can U say havent called since arriving. I Can already see someone walkin wit they RW scarf (in the summer time) at the movies or something. Serious. LMAO. Cant wait to here about it. lmao.




~




Ahem. Where are all the Fine ass Black Men like this where i live. I Mean If i went to school with Dudes like this i would be at EVERY Track Meet. Rooting for his ass. I Mean Look At this dude and tell me he wouldnt be worth losing your voice over. lmao


Click For Larger Sizes. Trust Me You Wanna Click.





Mr. Justin Tryon AKA Mr. Arizona State






Friday, October 05, 2007

No Motivation

Mood: Bored/Thinking
In the Background: Wisin Y Yandel Feat Romeo(Aventura) - Noche De Sexo

Thinking About: Me. One thing i have always wanted to do and change about myself was my physique or lack there of. Its is one thing out of many i have always been self conscience about. its is one thing that I'm still the most conscience about. It is one thing about myself that i want to change. I feel if i had the body i wanted i would be so much more confident in myself as a person. I would have a much higher self esteem, a healthier outlook on life..... in other words i would feel and be overall a much greater person. Mentally & Physically. I believe i would feel so much better About ME! And Not To Mention I Would Still Look Damn Good When Im Like 40-50. Still Being Able To Pull Youngin's & Shit. LMAO That would be nice. :) My Problem Is Staying Motivated And Commited To It. I Think i want it but i dont have what it takes to stay with it. I Think I Need Patience & Acceptance. And To Realize that its not gonna come over night. And Try not to look too far down the road trying to see the big picture too quickly. I think im going to try to accept and love myself today and know that each day, im going to get better. I guess thats a way of looking at it. Im Going To try to stay Positve. And Try to keep my self SELF-MOTIVATED. I Want it so bad and i guess thats what i should tell myself when i feel like giving up. I WANT IT SO BAD!

MLB

The Tribe beat the yankees. 12-3 .!!!!!Securing The Lead In The Division Series. Im Hopin These Boys Can Go All The Way This Year. World Series '07! (Favorite Player - Catcher #41 Victor Martinez)


I Feel A Lil Sorry For A-Rod. Sike! That is One Sexy Ass Man Tho. That Man Defines Perfection. In The Dictionary It Would Look Like This


Perfection: per·fec·tion / [per-fek-shuhn]
1.
the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.
2.
the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.
3.
a perfect embodiment or example of something.


4.
a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.
5.
the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.
6.
the act or fact of perfecting.
~~~He's Got It All. Athletic Talent. Check. The Contract. Check. Attractive. Check. The Physique. CHECK CHECK. ASS. TRIPLE CHECK~~~
JUST PERFECT! 20/10.
That Is All.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

IT'S ME BITCHES!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Yes! It's Me Bitches! The #1 the only! Its been a while and alot of things have changed for the better. This is one time in life where im kinda content with alot thats going on in my life. Of course theres still many things i havent accomplished and dont have right now, but theres so much i have checked off m list of things to do. for one i came out to my parents. They both know. It was a big hurdle for me to jump over but i did it. my mom still isnt too okay wit it but her ass will get over it as long as im her son. My dad is way cool wit it. I feel like i can confide in him about my relationship. SI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im in a relationship. A relationship that is very important to me. Im in love. I love this person wit all my heart. In the words Of Ashanti "He's Like The Lighter To My Cigarette. Although this is my first relationship, my first love, i feel he is my soulmate. I cant see myself wit no one else. Were like Yin & Yang. I LOVE MY PAPI! LOVE HIM 2 DEATH. MY BABY MY NIGGA MY PAPI. WE DO US!



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Im acing School right now. I Mean its only the 4th week But i Got 3 A's. And Im So Glad. Im Focused Right Now. The only thing lacking is i dont have a J.O.B. right now which sucks. But i hope to find one by the end of this month. Cuz a nigga need money. Wanna Buy my baby sumthin for his Bday 2 Lmao.






As Far as right now life is ok. its actually ok. besides not having a job. Everythings O.k. ...........Yeah everything's O.K.









Some Eye Candy For Those Of Us Who Appreciate Fine Latinos When We See Em




Suave! But He Aint Got Nothin On My Papi! :)