Rest & Relaxation

What i need is some good ass rest and relaxation. Tomorrow i think im just going to stay home and sleep. Think about all the things i need to do that will make me happy. Life is beating me up and i just feel worn out. I have recently started working out trying to get that body i so desperately want. Trying desperately to refocus on school [my heart just isnt in it]. Eliminating bad habits like smoking[6 days strong]. Developing ideas for a character in a comic/animation/short film I'm working on and will hopefully before i die bring to life. And just worrying about my well being, my health, and my happiness. The last 3 things are the most important to me these days. I feel like i really need to start taking better care of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. These days I'm just trying to focus on what makes me better. There is so many people i encounter who are so negative and who are doing nothing but trying to bring me down. The negativity is slowly making me crumble, and I'm so sick of everyone. I feel as if I'm trying to find myself. I have been so alone these days, especially since i broke up with my boyfriend and he seems to be on games[I'M SO OVER IT!]. Now i feel like its time to give up the immature people, the negative people, the people who don't want to see me rise to the top and take myself to the next level. I'm tired of negative posts...... I want positive things to write about in life. I feel as if theres so much out there for me and I'm just here. I dread to one day wake up an old man and pitying myself because I never experienced life. From this day on I'm doing what i need to do and am gonna try to be more positive, surround myself with positive people, and enjoy my life. Being happy with myself and my life has always been a hurdle and a struggle but i feel as if i put my mind to it i can achieve what i have be longing for.

Not Sure

Right now i feel like a fool who is in love. Your my first love and you will always be in my heart. My mind is racing with thoughts..... assumptions. I don't want to assume. It's hard when i don't know anymore, I don't know if you really love me. I don't know if your playing games with my heart, But like i stated previously I Don't want to assume. I guess only time will tell if I am playing myself for you. If I am..... my heart will break into even smaller pieces and we both know you wont be there to pick up the pieces. I want to believe but I am not so sure. Not at all. Its hard, and I am Unsure. My mind is not at peace. Not at all. Should I follow my heart which tells me to believe you..... you will return to me....... return my love. Or should I follow my Mind which is telling me to get over you before its too late. Options. Which Do I Choose. It's Hard...... Love. Your my first love and you will always be in my heart...... But will I always be in yours?

?

I've been so confused lately. Confused about Life in general and the path i am currently walking down. I feel as if i need to be cleansed. Like i just need all the negative energy sucked away from me. I dont think my mind is at peace. So with that said I wont create another post until i have something positive to reflect on.



Until that time comes....



*PRIMO