Let Go |

I had a Moment of Clarity.

Its time to Let Go....

Let Go of someone whose opinion I still value.

Someone whose embrace I still love.

Someone whose words I take to heart.

Someone who I still allow to have power over me.....

Someone who even though I love the idea of them being the ONE.... I know it wont probably ever happen.

It all needs to stop.

I need to heal.

Its Time To Let Go.

Its time to let go and give my heart the time and space it needs to repair.

I was in the beginning stages of this process about a month ago and Then you came.......

I need a healthy medium.

Some kind of line that is drawn to differentiate where friends begins and love ends.

Some kind of middle ground.

The stress is killing me......

My heart wont stop palpitating and breath is taken away frequently.... Not in a good way either.....

Procrastination has taken over and I need it to subside......

We all know the story, and Ive fallen for it again....

Every time.........

It's partially my fault......

I see the good in you.....

I believe you....

My Foolish Heart believing your Lies.....

The Trust Isn't there......

The Respect isn't there

The Love Isn't mutual.....

The importance of Us, Our Past, What we had isn't the same for you as it has been for me....

You Will Never See

You Will Never Change......

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Time To Move On.....

Lately things have been horrible for me. Lets just say I have been getting the short end of the stick for a while now from my boyfriend. It took me forever but I prayed on it and I asked god to send me a sign and I felt like he did in more than one form. And then I began to think about all the conversations I had with my boyfriend and then it clicked..... He obviously didn't need to be my boyfriend anymore. So like my girl Keyshia Cole I let that nigga go. And honestly after I did I felt like something had been lifted and lately I have been feeling so good lately. Honestly, Damn Good!

After I did it, I honestly wondered why I hadn't done it earlier. All the signs were there and I put my feelings to the side ignoring them for a love that was fading [On his end] and a relationship that I seemed to be in alone. I didn't want to do it over the phone but like i said he didn't want to take the 5 minutes it takes to drive over my house so I did it over the phone. Oh Damn Well! After the 2nd day I had to to what i had to do. Shit I got tired of being in a long distance relationship with someone who lives 5 minutes away. I guess this all goes back to my saying that I shouldn't date Younger than me because for the 2nd time, it didn't work.

But now I feel honestly refreshed and ready to do me. I feel like the negative element is behind me and I have nothing but positive things to look forward too. And the process of building structure begins.......


[Yo, Pray For Me .]


:)

Not Sure

Right now i feel like a fool who is in love. Your my first love and you will always be in my heart. My mind is racing with thoughts..... assumptions. I don't want to assume. It's hard when i don't know anymore, I don't know if you really love me. I don't know if your playing games with my heart, But like i stated previously I Don't want to assume. I guess only time will tell if I am playing myself for you. If I am..... my heart will break into even smaller pieces and we both know you wont be there to pick up the pieces. I want to believe but I am not so sure. Not at all. Its hard, and I am Unsure. My mind is not at peace. Not at all. Should I follow my heart which tells me to believe you..... you will return to me....... return my love. Or should I follow my Mind which is telling me to get over you before its too late. Options. Which Do I Choose. It's Hard...... Love. Your my first love and you will always be in my heart...... But will I always be in yours?