Spite

Sometimes I wish I had gay friends. Friends that I could go out with and kick it with, friends that I could talk about things with and would understand and be able to respond and know how I feel. Sometimes I Wish. I don't have that much trust in people though. Just thinking about it makes me think about how much Trust I put into my only real relationship and boyfriend to date and how much of a mistake that was. How he played with me. Uggh! Yuk! Just thinking about the dick head makes me cringe. I will never put myself into that position or any position remotely related to it. Never. The time we were together wasn't worth all the childish lies, all the regret I have, and all the spite i have for that person. Ugggh! Its just so gross. He actually called me the other day talking about he wanted to see how I'm doing. Fine. Then theres awkwardness because we have nothing to talk about. So I tell him to come and get his stuff from my house. Than he starts to sound sad like a puppy dog, oh you want me to come get it, you don't want it there? HELLO! Was me not asking a big enough clue?!?!?!? Asshole. So he arranges a date with me for him to come get it. Why don't I ever here from the Scrape after that phone call and someone never came to come get their bullshit from my house. I don't like asking more than once and quite frankly I don't want to call or talk to him. Me asking him to come get his stuff was my way of not having to see him anymore after that time because I'm Done with him. He's someone I can live without and would not like to see or talk to because I don't consider Liars friends or associates. So I threw the trash in the back of my closet along with all the other trash and things I simply don't use or need. It all just reinforces my rule that I wont date anyone younger than me. It's probably the maturity factor that makes me attracted to older men. Boys simply aren't there, know what I mean?


Ugh, I Hate feeling Spiteful.

But It too shall pass.