Time To Move On.....

Lately things have been horrible for me. Lets just say I have been getting the short end of the stick for a while now from my boyfriend. It took me forever but I prayed on it and I asked god to send me a sign and I felt like he did in more than one form. And then I began to think about all the conversations I had with my boyfriend and then it clicked..... He obviously didn't need to be my boyfriend anymore. So like my girl Keyshia Cole I let that nigga go. And honestly after I did I felt like something had been lifted and lately I have been feeling so good lately. Honestly, Damn Good!

After I did it, I honestly wondered why I hadn't done it earlier. All the signs were there and I put my feelings to the side ignoring them for a love that was fading [On his end] and a relationship that I seemed to be in alone. I didn't want to do it over the phone but like i said he didn't want to take the 5 minutes it takes to drive over my house so I did it over the phone. Oh Damn Well! After the 2nd day I had to to what i had to do. Shit I got tired of being in a long distance relationship with someone who lives 5 minutes away. I guess this all goes back to my saying that I shouldn't date Younger than me because for the 2nd time, it didn't work.

But now I feel honestly refreshed and ready to do me. I feel like the negative element is behind me and I have nothing but positive things to look forward too. And the process of building structure begins.......


[Yo, Pray For Me .]


:)

So Sad & Lonely.....

This is exactly how i have been feeling lately. Mostly because since about Easter I have been doing nothing but staying in the house, going to school, and work. I have no life and I hate it. Right now I'm listening to Ms. Cole on my new Zune[she always feels where I'm coming from.] I'm so tired of this same routine and I am becoming more and more bored with my everyday life, Or lack thereof. I feel sad because I am unhappy with my everyday life. Unhappy with work, school. And right now that seems to be all my life consists of is work and school. Pretty sad right. When your life consists of 2 things you cant stand I find it pretty sad on my part. I feel at this point I need to find new hobbies. Lately I just haven't found any inspiration in drawing lately. Nothing in my life is inspiring, nothing in my life feels alive......Nothing in my life brings me any energy.

I am Lonely because My boyfriend barely, rarely, never, doesn't have time for me. Its frustrating.

I have been feeling so alone lately. So So So Alone...........

RANDOM RANT

I MISS MY BESTFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DAMN 2 WEEKS IS TAKING TOO DAMN LONG TO PASS!

I MEAN SHE'S ALREADY ACROSS SEAS BUT NOW I CANT EVEN TALK TO HER ON AIM!

COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



[END RANT]

New Career Outlook?!? Maybe?!?

Lately I've been thinking about switching my major to web design. I feel that this would be more beneficial to a career in graphic design later down the line don't ya think? The problem it is it may cost me more money. Since i may already have taken classes that i don't need for the Web Design degree. Decisions Decisions..........But i think I'm going to go ahead and switch over anyway after a little more research.


My best friend is traveling across Europe for the next 2 weeks. Lucky Bitch! The only bad thing is that I will have no contact with her for the next 2 weeks which sucks. SUCKS!!!!!

I probably wont see my boyfriend for a while either. Yesterday he told me he doesn't have a day off until next week. He's now a shift leader at his job but first has to take a test to be shift manager and get his raise. Can you say bullshit. I told him then your not Shift leader yet if you have to take a damn test for it to be official and get your raise. But he's already in his "Shift Leader" mentality that he has so much responsibility and the reason he has to work all these days is because someone got suspended from his job and now he's filling the shifts. 12-8 everyday. Puh-leeze Hispanegro! Then I see him last night and he's all down and out about how he hasn't got to spend much time with me and he misses me. Please if you missed me you wouldn't be volunteering for extra shifts so save it. I know hes thinking about all the extra money he will have but don't bitch about the shit when your taking it upon yourself to act as the shift leader without it being official and not even being paid for it yet and now you take it upon yourself as to fill others peoples shifts is your duty because your "Shift leader". So I ask him, Is it always going to be like this? he replies what? I say, You putting your job before everything. He replies, I Dunno. I then say, well i hope you can find a real answer to that soon. I'm tired of loving so hard. Is that Wrong To care so much about a person? For caring About US? Maybe I'm Overreacting?

Structure

Structure is something i definitely need in my life. I need it from the top of my curly ass head to the bottom of my handsome ass feet. I Need to start having balance in this crazy ass world of mine. Balance i find is definitely key. I need to start making things in my life clear and simple to avoid as much confusion as possible. I need first of to set my ass a bed time [Yes I know I'm too damn old to have a bed time and ain't had a bed time since about the 3rd grade], but i love my sleep and these days i find myself waking up with barely enough time to wash my face & brush my hair because I'm so damn tired and too damn lazy to get up when the alarm rings the 1st time. Now Notice I left out brushing my teeth, I left it out because for the first time in my life i forgot to brush my teeth in my hurry to get to work on time. Now trust and believe a nigga never forgets because you can ask anyone who knows me my Pearly whites stay white and clean and are one of my greatest assets. Can You say pissed from 10-4. PISSED! I find myself struggling to keep up wit my school work on time and find myself hours before its time to go to school finishing work and not completing all of the assignments [I.E. Yesterdays Class!] PISSED! I'm barely finding time to eat some days. REALLY PISSED! My bank account is definitely not where it needs to be[PISSED!!!!!!!] at the moment and i now know that i need to set an amount that i need to deposit every 2 weeks and keep the other funds in my pockets so that i don't overspend. Structure is definitely what i need at this point i need to focus so bad.

My relationship With my Boyfriend [yes we ended up getting back together tho at a point it seemed like we never broke up] has hit a snag. Nothing Big. Just Confusing.